Manchester City Forums

This has got to be a WUM

Really? He must have been delighted to meet you then. Did you explain to him your theory on why you should drop the support of your lifelong team because they lose a few games and sign a former player from one of your rivals?

No. Although my mother once put a kitten in our washing machine.
Storytime.

It was approximately 10 years ago. It was a sunny day during the summer holidays. My sister was participating in her favourite hobby of sunbathing on the back lawn while my father was trying to cut the grass, My Father was mowing the grass obviously and my mother was having a Spring Clean day in the Summer. The spring clean involved lots of clothes being washed. I was probably interfering with myself or playing with toy soldiers.

My sister must have got a bit parched because she came into the house to get a glass of water and as she was getting the britta filter water jug(top spec model fyi) from the fridge when she heard some frantic meowing coming from that area. I should point out our fridge, washing machine and tumble dryer are all in a line in the back hall. Well after a minute or so's headscratching she came to the conclusion one of our kittens must be trapped behind one of these appliances.

She alerted my parents to the situation immiedately and the commotion that ensued must have disturbed me from my activity because I went to the back hall to investigate. After a quick briefing from my family I was ready to help. We hastily deduced our best move would be to pulll out the appliances and in doing so the kitten would be free. My father and I set to work.

It only took us a minute or so to get the appliances away from the wall but when we removed them we found nothing. No kitten anyway. There, were some clothes pegs, a pound coin and a McVities gold bar(still in date!!!om nom nom). The meowing persisted though. To my ears it was now a mocking barrage of meows at our inabilty to solve this seemingly simple dilemma. My sister opened the fridge again in a sheeplishy hopeful kind of way. I scoffed at her stupidity. "How could the cat me in the fridge?It was open when I got here you retard". Tensions rose. The situation could boil over at any moment. My mother stopped the imminent brawl with this statement,"I think its in the washing machine"

The whole time the washing machine had been spinning merrily. Even when we pulled it out it spun on and on. We had not even considered the possibility that the kitten could be in there. We later decided that the kitten must have been snuggling and chillaxing in the clothes by the machine and in her crazed housekeeping frenzy my mother stuffed all the clothes into the machine and the kitten along with them. She then went outside to hang clothes from the previous wash on the washing line oblivious to the imminent chaos that she had just created.

Since theres a lock on the washing machine door which only unlocks when all the water drains away we had to wait for a full two minutes after my father turned the machine off before we could retrieve the kitten. We knew it was still alive because it was persisting in meowing but we were shocked to find that it was in perfect working order. Obviously it was somewhat scared about the whole situation but I imagine most animals would be after going through an ordeal like that. That was it really though. After a quick rinse, by hand of course with lukewarm water just in case any of you think we're cruel to animals, it was good to go again.

Its funny you say that! I met him because he was buying some items off me through a middle man in Scotland. He asked me where i was from and when i told him Manchester, immediately his eyes lit up and said RED or Blue? i said Red and he said i must change to Blue to keep our buisness relationship going.
He told me in depth although his English was not perfect about how the long term plan is to offer all the best young talent from Africa and south america the best financial terms and facilities to get them to Al Jazeerah then to use it as a feeder club to City.

The Kid they signed was from somewhere like Bolivia or Peru, played left wing, had already played in the international team and was about to sign for Liverpool when they nicked him.

Its funny you say that! I met him because he was buying some items off me through a middle man in Scotland. He asked me where i was from and when i told him Manchester, immediately his eyes lit up and said RED or Blue? i said Red and he said i must change to Blue to keep our buisness relationship going.
He told me in depth although his English was not perfect about how the long term plan is to offer all the best young talent from Africa and south america the best financial terms and facilities to get them to Al Jazeerah then to use it as a feeder club to City.

The Kid they signed was from somewhere like Bolivia or Peru, played left wing, had already played in the international team and was about to sign for Liverpool when they nicked him.

was it the owner's brother-in-law? don't cross him in a business deal. or, if you do, ask him to post pictures here.

Not sure if there is a post about City announcing a massive loss today but I had to lol. Of course we made an operating loss. We spent a fucking fortune. And we can afford to make another loss like that and Michel Platini can fuck right off.

Read about that in The Times. Third biggest loss in British History apparently - £92m-odd. Surprised it wasn't the biggest loss actually, although it didn't include recent transfers like Tevez, Ade, Lescott etc.

On the plus side, turnover's increased 6% from £82.3m to £87m - give Garrrry a raise!!

If that is true, he was having you on.

brilliant story
kinda related - when i was three/four i tried to teach our kitten to swim, in a (thankfully) nearly empty water butt outside. fortunately my mother saw me looking intently into this thing, came uot to investigate and rescued the poor little sod. he was doing an admirable job, but would've tired.


was it the owner's brother-in-law? don't cross him in a business deal. or, if you do, ask him to post pictures here.

I'm not sure what exact relative he is but he is right up there, helicopter, massive entourage etc, first name Youseff.

I'm not sure what exact relative he is but he is right up there, helicopter, massive entourage etc, first name Youseff.

What the fuck is a real supporter !!! some brain dead mong who cant speak out against something he has loved for nearly 40yrs and now realises he has fell out of love !!!

All this city till i die stuff is bollox

people change over the years, in 30 yrs you might not even watch the scores.

What the fuck is a real supporter !!! some brain dead mong who cant speak out against something he has loved for nearly 40yrs and now realises he has fell out of love !!!

All this city till i die stuff is bollox

people change over the years, in 30 yrs you might not even watch the scores.

I'm not sure what exact relative he is but he is right up there, helicopter, massive entourage etc, first name Youseff.