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 Post subject: Anelka biography
PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:30 pm 
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“My career at Arsenal was going from strength to strength until the day I crossed Vieira, who was better known in the Arsenal dressing room as ‘Le Long.’ I was playing against Fulham at Highbury and I remember receiving a ball from Bergkamp, then rounding the keeper with ease and, with the goal wide open, somehow managing to screw the ball wide at the last minute. It only happened because the sun was in my eyes. It wasn’t my fault! Anyway Vieira gave me a glare and I knew I was in trouble, afterwards in the showers he tore into me and I just snapped, I knew I shouldn’t have, but I called him a ‘lanky limbed boombaclart.’

At first he just stared at me with his hollow eyes. Then…..
WHAM!

Just like that he slapped me across the face with his penis. Just once. But it knocked me back a few steps. It was like being struck by a wet kipper. No one could believe what they saw! Can you imagine how embarrassing it is to be smacked across the face with a 14″ pork sword in front of your team mates? It was the worst moment of my life. No one said anything for what seemed like an eternity, the silence was only broken when Ashley Cole asked “Is it my turn?” It was then I knew I had to leave. When Wenger found out what he’d done he merely high fived him and shouted “And that’s why he’s the captain. POW! Look at that thing!”

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:35 pm 
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Too funny!

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:37 pm 
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GermanCityFan wrote:
“My career at Arsenal was going from strength to strength until the day I crossed Vieira, who was better known in the Arsenal dressing room as ‘Le Long.’ I was playing against Fulham at Highbury and I remember receiving a ball from Bergkamp, then rounding the keeper with ease and, with the goal wide open, somehow managing to screw the ball wide at the last minute. It only happened because the sun was in my eyes. It wasn’t my fault! Anyway Vieira gave me a glare and I knew I was in trouble, afterwards in the showers he tore into me and I just snapped, I knew I shouldn’t have, but I called him a ‘lanky limbed boombaclart.’

At first he just stared at me with his hollow eyes. Then…..
WHAM!

Just like that he slapped me across the face with his penis. Just once. But it knocked me back a few steps. It was like being struck by a wet kipper. No one could believe what they saw! Can you imagine how embarrassing it is to be smacked across the face with a 14″ pork sword in front of your team mates? It was the worst moment of my life. No one said anything for what seemed like an eternity, the silence was only broken when Ashley Cole asked “Is it my turn?” It was then I knew I had to leave. When Wenger found out what he’d done he merely high fived him and shouted “And that’s why he’s the captain. POW! Look at that thing!”


Genuine LOL is this for real ?

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:51 pm 
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LegendKiller63 wrote:
Genuine LOL is this for real ?


Do you really have to ask?!

Funny because you don't expect the slapping!


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:55 pm 
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Full story:

Chelsea forward Nicolas Anelka has the football world on tenter hooks with the imminent release of his audacious autobiography ‘It’s not me. It’s everyone else.’ Which critics are are already labelling ’shocking’ and ‘compelling.’

The book, which details Anelka’s rise from Parisian street urchin to World Cup winner certainly pulls no punches, firing broadsides at former team mates from Real Madrid, Arsenal, Manchester City, Paris St German, Liverpool and Galatasary.

“I wasn’t accepted anywhere I went.” Says Anelka with heart breaking honesty.

In it Anelka exposes the bullying tactics employed by multi national clubs world wide and holds a mirror to the ugly face of football. Some critics have even labelled it the sports equivilent to Nelson Mandela’s ‘Long Walk to Freedom.’

However none of the targets suffer the wrath of Anelka as much as former team mate Patrick Vieira, whom Anelka describes as a ‘world class git.’

In excerpts to be serialised in the Guardian Anelka reveals:

“My career at Arsenal was going from strength to strength until the day I crossed Vieira, who was better known in the Arsenal dressing room as ‘Le Long.’ I was playing against Fulham at Highbury and I remember receiving a ball from Bergkamp, then rounding the keeper with ease and, with the goal wide open, somehow managing to screw the ball wide at the last minute. It only happened because the sun was in my eyes. It wasn’t my fault! Anyway Vieira gave me a glare and I knew I was in trouble, afterwards in the showers he tore into me and I just snapped, I knew I shouldn’t have, but I called him a ‘lanky limbed boombaclart.’

At first he just stared at me with his hollow eyes. Then…..

WHAM!

Just like that he slapped me across the face with his penis. Just once. But it knocked me back a few steps. It was like being struck by a wet kipper. No one could believe what they saw! Can you imagine how embarrassing it is to be smacked across the face with a 14″ pork sword in front of your team mates? It was the worst moment of my life. No one said anything for what seemed like an eternity, the silence was only broken when Ashley Cole asked “Is it my turn?” It was then I knew I had to leave. When Wenger found out what he’d done he merely high fived him and shouted “And that’s why he’s the captain. POW! Look at that thing!”

Anelka’s book reveals how he only regained his confidence eventually playing alongside Paul Dickov at Manchester City. “He could fit it in a polo.” Anelka reveals.

However not all are sympathatic to Anelka’s plight. Diagne N’dour, Vieira’s life long agent and business partner, described Anelka’s book as a ‘disgrace.’

N’dour wrote on his website that, if anything, Anelka should be privileged that he was allowed to touch Vieira’s chopper:

“In our country it is a great honour to be shown, let alone come into contact with Patrick Vieira’s porridge chucker. Instead of painting my client as a tyrant Mr Anelka should be apologising for sullying my clients penis with his miserable, miserable face.”

Patrick Vieira is yet to comment on these accusations.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 11:56 pm 
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I actually believed this until I read the phrase 'lanky limbed boombaclart'

Still funny though
LOL

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 1:20 am 
LegendKiller63 wrote:
Genuine LOL is this for real ?


retart


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 2:51 am 
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lmao. quality.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 8:12 am 
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365 much?


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 11:23 am 
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Emigre wrote:
retart


i was being sarcastic :rolleyes:

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 Post subject: Re: Anelka biography
PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 9:05 am 
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Nicolas Anelka has been put in temporary charge of Shanghai Shenhua, according to reports.

The France striker, 33, was only lured to the big-spending the Chinese outfit from Chelsea in January but has already taken his first steps into management.

Anelka is an unlikely candidate for management, having once been branded 'the Incredible Sulk' after falling out with several of his former clubs and having a reputation as a surly character.
Chinese adventure: Nicolas Anelka in action for Shanghai Shenhua last week

Chinese adventure: Nicolas Anelka in action for Shanghai Shenhua last week

But Anelka was handed his new role after Shanghai sacked their team's coaching staff following a dismal run. They have won only two of their five matches so far this season.

A Shenhua official confirmed the sackings, but insisted Tigana was still in his position following speculation he would also be axed. However, other reports suggest that Tigana has been sacked and is now negotiating a severance package.

'We fired the assistant coaches. Tigana is still the coach of the team,' the unnamed official said. 'Anelka is now on the coaching team.'

The Oriental Sports Daily newspaper said the club had sacked the coaches brought on board by Tigana and hired four new ones as replacements.
Surprise: Anelka made the move to China in January after leaving Chelsea

Surprise: Anelka made the move to China in January after leaving Chelsea

Former Tottenham keeper Ian Walker, who will work with the goalkeepers, and Birmingham fitness coach Dan Harris will also join as new assistants, as do two Frenchmen, Alioune Kissima Toure and Jean-Florent Ikwange Ibenge, according to the newspaper.

Anelka, who has also played for Paris Saint-Germain, Arsenal, Real Madrid, Liverpool, Bolton and Galatsaray, is the most high-profile foreign footballer to sign for the Chinese league.

Shenhua finished in the bottom half of the table last season. Tigana, the former Fulham and Monaco boss, also joined Shenhua as the club sought out more foreign talent.

Shenhua are 11th in China's Super League, having claimed just five points from five games this term

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/footba ... z1rrlvNhqt


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 Post subject: Re: Anelka biography
PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 3:31 am 
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Tigana is still the coach of the team,' the unnamed official said. 'Anelka is now on the coaching team.'
I think he will be a good coach.

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