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 Post subject: Saving Grassroots.
PostPosted: Fri Apr 26, 2013 6:19 pm 
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If anybody would be willing to repost on some of the other non-official sites that would also be great. I am working my way through them.

Fellow football fans,
without whom our game would not be the national sport. These are dark times, for some more than others. Whilst some clubs can afford salaries of £100k a week, some clubs need that to survive a whole season. If just half of your weekly attendance helped with a quid, we'd be halfway to being rescued.

I write on behalf of a campaign for my local football club, Ebbsfleet Utd. In 2008, we won the FA Trophy at Wembley. The future looked great.

Fast forward 5 years, and due to mismanagement, we find ourselves staring into oblivion, possibly going for good.

Short of finding a wealthy owner, we have started a 'Saving Grassroots' campaign. All we are asking for is £1. More would be welcomed, of course, but if enough people can donate just £1, we can clear the debts and start afresh. Cut the budgets, whatever it takes.

We don't mind dropping divisions, we just don't want to lose our club. Would you want to lose your club?

Anyway, thank you for your time.
ALL donations are gratefully received. We hope you won't feel the need to delete this post, but if you do we'll understand.

http://fleet-trust.co.uk/donate-now.php

FAMYFC, campaigning under the banner of 'Saving Grassroots'.


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 Post subject: Re: Saving Grassroots.
PostPosted: Sat Apr 27, 2013 7:45 am 
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My dad is the most successful manager in Wythenshawe Sunday league history. I know all about grass roots football.
If I wss going to donate to grass roots football. It would not be some southern blerts..

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 Post subject: Re: Saving Grassroots.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 10:32 pm 
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Hilarious insight into Sunday football "chat".

Quote:

'Where's the Talking?' A guide to the language of Sunday League football

Going quiet is forbidden in amateur football, so this set of phrases has emerged to punctuate the painful periods silence

Last week the Premier League, the Football Association and the government announced an injection of £102m into grassroots football over the next three years, with the aim of improving facilities and increasing participation. Discussion about grassroots football often mentions "the community" and "the next generation", and where positive developments can be made to these valuable ends. But there is a more mundane side to the lowest level of the football pyramid.

Every Sunday morning, thousands of amateur footballers battle against any combination of hangovers, dubious fitness levels and scandalous playing surfaces in a vain attempt to demonstrate that they've "still got it". While the skill levels will inevitably be lacking, one aspect of the Sunday League game is as strong as the top flight.

English football, from top to bottom, has always been characterised by its intangible, unquantifiable qualities of spirit, passion, grit, determination and, less notably, "talking".

Talking is easy. Not talking enough is generally agreed in Sunday League to be highly counter-productive. Players are urged before kick-off for "lots of talking", especially "back there". Not talking is an accusation that can only be levelled at a whole team, rather than an individual (unless it is the captain, who must shout indiscriminately for 90 minutes, for that is his job.)

To avoid this indictment, a set of largely useless phrases has emerged, which can be called upon whenever necessary to punctuate a period of relative silence. Everyone knows them, everyone understands what they are vaguely supposed to mean, and almost nobody questions them.

Clichéd as they are, many strained bellows you hear on a football pitch – "Man on!", "Out we go!", etc – are useful instructions. The following set of on-pitch rallying cries, however, deserve closer inspection:

1) "We've Gone Quiet"

Going quiet, as highlighted earlier, is the sign of a malfunctioning team. No one is talking, which means they all might as well go home. A period of notable quietness is ended only when the captain draws everyone's attention to it: "Come on lads, we've gone quiet!". It can, at the shouter's discretion, be bookended with "...haven't we?", to offer the illusion of a debate where one is really not available.

2) "Straight In"

A staple instruction that can be used only at a very specific moment – namely, the opponents kicking off the game. "Run after the ball!", this phrase demands, "Chase it when they kick it backwards!". Only the strikers need to do this, of course, and the moment quickly passes. Getting "straight in" is not a continuous requirement, but merely an opening gesture of intent, which is likely to be unfulfilled. It is often accompanied by a mindless, yet somehow entirely appropriate-feeling, clap of the hands.

3) "Two On The Edge"

When a corner is awarded, it is everyone's job to pick up their man. One eagle-eyed player has the extra task of spotting a discrepancy in this complex marking system, in that there are two unattended opponents lumbering into the penalty area.

In extreme circumstances, there may be "three on the edge" – an unthinkable catastrophe that is met with a suitably incredulous cry of "I've got three here!". The lack of concentration may be down to the defence's preoccupation with the big man, the lanky opposing centre-back/estate agent who has arrived with a look of great purpose from the back.

4) "All Day"

An utterly irritating phrase (specifically designed to be so) used by smug opponents to declare your attacking efforts as weak and unlikely to succeed, even if repeated. Often said twice in quick succession – as a speculative effort flies into neighbouring allotments – to compound the humiliation.

5) "It's Still 0-0"

Football is an overwhelmingly childish pursuit. Much of football supporting is based on schadenfreude and suffering the taunts, in return, when your own team is humbled.

To combat this threat, some employ an overly defensive stance, hoping that an audible absence of pride will pre-empt any possible fall. And so, if a Sunday League team races into an early lead, one stern-faced, armband-toting try-hard will attempt to construct a parallel universe in which the game is, in fact, goalless. The job is not done, he insists – a point he may return to when the final score is 7-4 or something similarly amateur.

6) "Box 'Em In!"

A cult classic, perhaps, which satisfies two fundamental criteria: 1) a laughable attempt at tactical insight, and 2) exclaimed almost instinctively, every single time. The ball goes out for an opposition throw-in, deep in their final third, and it is universally accepted that they do not have the adequate technical skills (or simply the upper-body strength) to play/hurl their way to safety.

7) "[Shirt Colour] Head on This!"

Possibly the most pointless one of all. For the uninitiated, this cryptic command is for your teammates to meet an imminent opposition hoof with their head before the other lot can. No accuracy is necessary but congratulations are available for heading it really, really hard, straight back where it came from. "WELL UP!" you are told, with your name declared in full if the game is particularly tense. More forward-thinking Sunday league players concern themselves with the second ball, which is often simply another header. Third balls remain an untapped, bewildering resource, possibly due to Chaos Theory.

8) "Away!"

Loosely translated as "Now look here, team-mate, I neither want nor trust you to play your way out of trouble. Please dispose of the ball as quickly and as far away as possible." Failure to do as directed leaves one open to castigation for "fucking about with it there," but this may be permitted if the player is in possession of a sufficient amount of...

9) "Time!"

The ball drops from the air and a player finds himself in acres of space. Pointing this out to him might seem a good idea. It'll calm him down, allow him to get his head up and play a pass, rather than treat the ball like an unpinned grenade.

However, when 10 other players scream "Time! Time!" in unison, it tends to have quite the opposite effect. The futility of the situation is laid bare when, after giving away possession easily, the player is offered a final, withering, retrospective observation: "You had time."

10) "Who's got tape?"

The gold-dust of amateur football, despite being available in any hardware shop. As the sole provider of ankle-securing tape, once you declare and dispense it, you will never see it again.

11) "Ref! Ref! How long?"

Usually asked by an overexcited player from the leading team, with surprising desperation. Whatever the answer, the player will always add about 10% on before relaying the revised figure to his teammates.

12) "Watch the short!"

It is considered a cardinal sin to let an opposing Sunday League team pass a goal-kick out to a full-back. Precisely what sort of devastating attack an average Sunday League team are expected to be capable of, deep in their own half, with the ball at the feet of traditionally the least capable player in their ranks, is anyone's guess.

Amateur-level goal-kicks, thumped aimlessly as far down the pitch as possible, often aren't a job for the goalkeeper. As the designated goal-kick taker for their sides, many Sunday league centre-halves can confirm that fetching a distant match ball in preparation for this moment is one of the more soul-destroying aspects of life at around 11am on every Sunday between September and May.

13) "One of you!"

When a Sunday League midfield is so often instructed to "get a [insert team's shirt colour] head on this", you often witness an unsightly clash of [insert team's shirt colour]-clad bodies as they simultaneously attempt to perform their primary duty. It is left to a team-mate to helpfully point out that only one of them was required on the scene.

14) "Don't let it bounce!"

A rare example of a phenomenon that afflicts a Premier League side just as much as it does your Sunday morning rabble. Letting the ball bounce, especially "back there", is traditionally asking for trouble.

15) "Where Was The Shout?"

The ultimate act of Sunday league buck-passing. A player is unceremoniously dispossessed from behind, to howls of derision from his teammates. Accompanied by a despairing flap of the arms, the player begs of his colleagues: "Where was the shout?!" There wasn't one. Because they've gone quiet, haven't they?


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 Post subject: Re: Saving Grassroots.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 10:45 pm 
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Those are golden. :)

I was trying to think of things I'd rabbit on about but it was all "don't let him get goalside!" or "don't get drawn to the ball!"

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 Post subject: Re: Saving Grassroots.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 1:15 am 
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I'm a big fan of screaming out "Minds On Yellow!!" when I feel I've gone too long without saying something.


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 Post subject: Re: Saving Grassroots.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 3:58 am 
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Or the serials offenders who every weekend;

-arrive 2 mins before KO
-turn up with out tape and wait til you pull some out and you get the 'you mind if I lend some of that?'
-fail to scrounge 5 quid for the ref fees

And my favourite has to be on a freezing Sunday morning behind wormwood scrubs with an apocalyptic landscape and a Baltic wind coming in horizontal along with shards of rain and sleet, players take an ankle knock and decide pouring water on to your sock is the best thing to do.

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 Post subject: Re: Saving Grassroots.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 10:21 am 
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Half time team talks basically consisting of "cheer up lads, we've got the slope second half!", given by your local Jose Mourinho whose only qualifications for the job are that he's too shit to play and he's willing to do the admin.


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 Post subject: Re: Saving Grassroots.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 11:33 am 
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My memories of sunday "Works League" football are of playing for a team called Claremont Rovers who's centre back was a giant of a thug, think Andy Morrison, named Skinhead.
I say named because I never heard him referred to as anything else even from his Mum and Dad who regularly attended matches and soon after kick-off either mum or dad could be heard shouting their regular encouragement of "FUCKING NUT HIM SKINHEAD!" shortly before the oppositions centre-forward hit the deck or even, on one fateful day, the referee!
We were expelled from the league, and trust me on this, that took some doing.

Another treasured memory was of us all clambering into the back of a battered old transit van that doubled as match day transport and, not long after setting off, aforesaid Skinhead letting off a fart that had a gallon of matured Brown and Mild from the previous night as its main ingredient. It was fucking lethal.
So much so, our effete centre-forward, who later played for Coventry City threw himself out of the back of the van which was now travelling at about 40mph. He still managed to play despite some pretty serious road rash.

The most ridiculously named team I played for was called "Red Star Indiana."
I think the novelty of holidays to America had yet to wear off!

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 Post subject: Re: Saving Grassroots.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 12:27 pm 
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Quote:
Another treasured memory was of us all clambering into the back of a battered old transit van that doubled as match day transport and, not long after setting off, aforesaid Skinhead letting off a fart that had a gallon of matured Brown and Mild from the previous night as its main ingredient. It was fucking lethal.
So much so, our effete centre-forward, who later played for Coventry City threw himself out of the back of the van which was now travelling at about 40mph. He still managed to play despite some pretty serious road rash.



made me giggle

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 Post subject: Re: Saving Grassroots.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 1:15 pm 
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i used to play 5 a side at the pits place in ardwick for a team called tbf the works. we never hadteam talks.

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 Post subject: Re: Saving Grassroots.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 4:21 pm 
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When I played 11-a-side recently, our 'manager' got us a friendly against Bolton's oversea academy team, who were apparently 'on tour'. Fuck knows why they agreed to play us. I guess our manager had a friend of a friend, but whatever.

Our tactics were simple (prepare yourself for the cliche): 'Get right in their faces'.

We had a couple of lads on the team who had, erm, shorter tempers than most, and when these slippery little shits started kicking back, some of these lads began to get a bit pissed off.

Three or four started scrapping with another three or four lads of about 18 years old, ultimately getting us banned from the league.

'Wankers!' I thought to myself. But I always chuckle a bit when I think back.


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 Post subject: Re: Saving Grassroots.
PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 5:29 am 
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Bert Trautmanns neck brace wrote:
i used to play 5 a side at the pits place in ardwick for a team called tbf the works. we never hadteam talks.


Bert, before his time in txt spk since the 70's.

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