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PostPosted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 8:14 pm 
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Andy Mitten: I'm struggling with baby Blues

Andy Mitten
November 17, 2011


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ImageFOREVER BLUE: Charlie wearing his City top as Andy's worst fears come true

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Of all the pieces I’ve written for the M.E.N., one earlier this year provoked a far bigger reaction than the rest.

My sister married into a family of home and away Blues and she was about to give birth.

Reds and Blues called the newsdesk to offer sympathies or congratulations.

I was petrified the baby would be a boy. And thus potentially a Blue.

There’s no City in our family, but that delicate and delightful situation threatened to be seriously compromised.

It’s taken me this long to come to terms with what has happened.

Soon after City won their first trophy in 35 years, Charlie was born in Wythenshawe Hospital. He was born on June 1 – or ‘1-6’ in the eyes of his dad.

He was a week old when he was enrolled as a Junior Blue. Talk about ruining the kid’s life before it had barely started! He’ll be going on trips out to see the spot where Raddy Antic scored to relegate City next – or whatever Blues do as their rite of passage.

It gets worse. He owns – and wears – City kits with no shame.

He’s getting a match programme from last season’s FA Cup semi-final (I forget the score in that one) signed by Roberto Mancini and Brian Kidd for Christmas.

I know you read this Kiddo. Please stop otherwise I’ll tell your Margaret and Claire to give you the cold shoulder and not make your tea any more.

If you are to sign autographs in your capacity as Manchester City’s assistant manager, please insert subliminal messages under your signature – maybe just put
‘68-99-08’ to signify United’s three European Cups. Or leave the space blank to signify City’s.

Charlie’s dad is on Balotelli’s case for an autograph. That’s only going to end in tears isn’t it? The Italian will probably misunderstand the request and buy him an alligator instead.

I blame my sister. Not only did she marry a Blue, she married one with numerous brothers who follow City devotedly. They’ve been to Gillingham and Grimsby, the lot!

Had she not entered this mixed marriage then we wouldn’t have this problem.

She thinks that we all need to grow up and can’t see any reason why Charlie can’t support both Manchester teams.

Not a chance!

She’ll be buying him one of those damned half-and-half scarves next. He’s better being a Blue than a purple.

The smugness that they’ve won the battle to convert him is overwhelming, but the fight back is on.

My dad has banned the baby coming into his house while wearing anything Blue.

He then serenades him with songs about being a Red.

He’s 62. Oh how you Blues would love him to be 61.

I’ve done my bit. Spoken to the United Nations but they mumbled something about Israel and Palestine being more important.

With visions of a tactical air strike on all Charlie’s City toys, I managed to get hold of NATO, but all I got back was ‘Libya this’ and ‘Libya that’. Like the future of democracy was more important than a life of despondency. If the UN won’t act, then I’ve no option but to impose my own sanctions.

Hit them where it hurts in this family psychological warfare.

I’ve freely dispensed advice ‘to the other side’ on various European cities that City have played in so far.

Given little tips of what to see in Munich or Kiev, where to go in Villarreal (nowhere).

It’s misinformation only from now on. If they want a good pub, they’ll get directions to a garden centre miles from anywhere, if they want to know the phrase for ‘Hello, I’m a Blue’ in Spanish then I’ll tell them to say ‘I really like your sideburns, Sir’.

Let’s see them do the Poznan to that.

My Christmas present will be a video of City’s European highlights between 1980 and 2005.

It’s almost nine seconds long and is sure to leave him disappointed and start to question City in his baby brain.

And I’m trusting that, in time, young Charlie will rebel against the Cityism that has been thrust onto him since day one and start seeing Red. Clutching at straws?
...........................................

yes you are andy....sorry

blue moon uncle ste

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