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Simon Hattenstone The Guardian, Wednesday June 11 2008
Article history
Sven-Goran Eriksson's departure marked a new low for City fans. Photograph: Andrew Yates/AFP
Five weeks is a long time in the life of a Manchester City fan. Since I've been away, the beloved leader Dr Thaksin Shinawatra has sacked Sven-Goran Eriksson despite the fact that he had delivered a top-10 finish as requested, despite the fact that Manchester City had done the double over Manchester United for the first time in 40 years, despite the fact that Manchester City won the FA Youth Cup for the first time in 22 years, despite Sven pledging his allegiance to the club by buying himself a fine pair of blue-tinted spectacles. Now I am no Sven evangelical - indeed, my regular reader might well recall that in the past I compared him to Death from Ingmar Bergman's The Seventh Seal and accused him of being a master of mind-numbingly dull football. But the fact is that our boy Sven, as I like to think of him now, done good at City.
Earlier this year, I tried to interview Svennis for the Guardian. Paul Tyrrell, the spokesman for Manchester City, told me that the Guardian would never get an interview with him because we had shown a lack of respect. Among examples he cited were articles written by David Conn and myself (both City fans). Well, Mr Tyrrell, I would like to ask both you and the beloved leader what is more disrespectful: a) questioning the long-term future of a club run by a man with a dubious human-rights record facing criminal charges back in Thailand or b) sacking your manager after he has achieved just what you asked of him in his first season - and a little bit more.
Since then, things have got worse. City have hired a diehard Red as manager, and in the revisionist manner of modern times we've been told that if you combine the talents of Sir Alex Ferguson, Albert Einstein and Nelson Mandela you might get something approaching the genius of Mark Hughes. City fans have also been told that Hughes, who has never won a trophy as a manager, could have gone to Chelsea, Barcelona or the White House should he have so desired, but his heart always lay with City. Finally, City fans have been ordered to forget that Big Phil Scolari, who we initially believed would replace Sven, ever existed.
As for Ronaldinho and his 200 grand a week? It makes me sick. This is football as political posturing, football as global marketing, football as showbiz masturbation. The one thing it isn't is football as sport. Thaksin can call Ronaldinho the world's greatest player till he's City blue in the face but we all know the truth. He's past his peak, looking for a ludicrous payday, and it just so happens that City are prepared to pay twice as much as any club in their right mind. This is not how you create a winning football club, it's how you create a circus of freaks.
A year ago I said that however hard I would find it to stick Thaksin, I'd find it even harder to give City up. You were married to your team for life - in sickness and health, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, the whole shebang.
But that was then. I can't stand any more. I'm ashamed of you, City.
Until recently, I was so proud of you - sure, I knew you weren't the coolest kid on the block, certainly not the most glamorous, but you were warm and funny and human, and decent people liked you. These days you are crude and crass and humourless, and decent people despise you.
I want out. I know that in filing for divorce, I'm not simply splitting up with a football club. There's family and friends. And that might well be the most painful thing. My daughters could reject me forever - they are always telling me that we are bigger than Thaksin, that he is an imposter and that to leave them now would be an act of betrayal. As for my friend BriceyG, will there be a future for us without City? Well, we can still go for curries at Abdul's and lamb chops on Green Lanes and discuss the old days. We'll always have Gillingham, BriceyG.
This is a momentous decision. Possibly a disastrous one. I don't know if I can kick the habit. Mind you, a few months ago I gave up smoking, and if I managed to give up the cigs I can give up City - even if it does mean going back on the ciggies.
So, farewell City. You've had my love for 36 years, but that's long enough. Other fans might not wish to go the whole hog, so how's about boycotting the first home game of the season or holding a vigil in matching Sven wig and specs outside the ground?
If there's a football club with a heart out there (nothing flash, sense of humour preferable) looking for a new fan, give me a call. As for City, I'll be back when Thaksin's done with his plaything to help with the rebuilding.
About this articleClose This article appeared in the Guardian on Wednesday June 11 2008 on p12 of the Sport news & features section. It was last updated at 00:53 on June 11 2008.
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And put on that wig I bought you. No, no, no, no. The reddish-brown one.
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