Danny's Studs wrote:
Can you please start a thread about your housemate and collect all current quotes and add any new ones, cos I find her hilarious.
My housemate is a bona fide legend. She's rapidly becoming one of my favourite people, present company excepted. A couple of fridays ago she went out on a date with some poor unsuspecting bloke. She was a bit nervous so I suggested she neck the remnants of the bottle of vodka that was on the living room table, which she duly did. She then drank most of a bottle of rosé. When I dropped her off at Revolution an hour or so later she was
slaughtered. The date was apparently going quite well from the couple of texts she sent - they'd done the "row of shots" thing which Revs sell, probably not the best thing in her case, and had a few friendly drinks. At about half 11 she asked her beau to hold her drink while she went to the toilet, and then promptly vanished. She doesn't know what happened. She had a text the following day from one of her mates who manages the door of a bar just up the street - he'd apparently put her in a cab home, but she'd told the driver not to take her home and instead went round to another friend's house, and instigated a house party. I had nine missed calls off her, starting at 12 midnight on the dot, and finishing at 6.46am. (I was passed out in a drunken stupor at home) She managed to make her way home at some point, empty her bin onto her bed and puke on the carpet.
The poor fucker she'd been out with spent the next two hours panicking about her, sending texts and leaving voice mails. He looked all over the city centre and missed the last bus home, didn't have money left for a cab and had to walk the eleven miles back to Draycott. Amazingly they went out again last week.
I've collated all the quotes so far into a word doc on my desktop. When I've got a few new ones I'll do the thread. We're planning a barbecue and drinks for the weekend so there's going to be a plentiful supply there.