Manchester City Forums

This is a discussion forum for Manchester City Football Club fans
It is currently Thu Mar 28, 2024 5:37 pm

All times are UTC




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 12 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Coldplay on V3
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2008 10:02 am 
Offline
Member

Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 10:59 am
Posts: 9005
Coldplay - Viva La Vapid


12 June 2008 is a big day for poor, struggling EMIMusic.

It's the day that the fourth Coldplay album, Viva La Vida is released. Three years ago, when their last album X&Y was delayed, EMI's share price famously took a dive.

There was a happy ending though; the boys from Coldplay beat off Mariah and 50 Cent and became the biggest seller of the year.

That sort of corporate pressure is enough to drive you weird and silly. Chris Martin is trying not to think about it. "We thought, 'We can't possibly get any bigger, let's just get better.'" he told NME.

So there it is. They'll sell bucketloads of records at a time when nobody is selling records. They're just trying to make the best music they possibly can for all the right reasons.

Despite all that, there's a certain type of person who won't like Coldplay, or the Paltrow-Martins, whatever they do.

That type of person is me.

Once upon a time, I'd have been vaguely proud of slagging them off. For a band this big, bland and boring their albums have always had an uncommonly easy run with the critics.

So it is easy to think of the little backlash as a public service. Not any more. Now the interesting thing would be to say they're great.

I could change my mind. I did it with Chris Martin. When he started, performing songs from Parachutes before the makeover, he was exactly the whingeing student you'd expect. The haircut was bad enough, but then he started singing earnestly backwards.

You immediately knew you were looking at someone rubbish, the only question was how long he'd stick around.

Now, whenever he's wheeled in to talk to some anodyne Radio 1 DJ, I'm always surprised how witty and likeable he is.


What happened? Ricky Gervais. One of the world's they-pay-you-for-that? jobs is a "Crisis Communications Specialist". Have an image problem? They'll sort you out for a fee. A cheaper route seems to be to appear on Extras.

Chris Martin did that, and took a few video beatings on Gervais' website, and seemingly learnt how to seem a good bloke. It works.

So if the frontman is such a fun guy, how come his band are such tosh? The good news is it really does come down to the records.

Three reasons, really.

First, Martin is terrible with words. When it comes to writing drivel and seeing it sung by undeserved hordes as if it meant something, he's second only to Tim Rice.

The new album's full title is Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends. Martin told Rolling Stone that "I've been through this before, naming something or someone and everyone saying that 'That's a terrible name.' But then saying, 'Well, f**k you, that's what it's called, and I'll be proved to be right eventually'."

Well Chris, it's not just your titles, it's everything you write. Talk contains this typical lump of dumb: Are you lost or incomplete / Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?

All his lyrics are like that. Here's the chorus to Clocks in full:

Singing,
You are, you are, you are.
You are, you are, you are.

Second, the music. Coldplay show how little a catchy tune can be if you don't know what to do with it. All his songs are catchy, like ringtones, tiny little phrases rehashed ad nauseam. It's mineral water torture. Clocks is probably in your head now. That "singing" repeated just before each chorus. How do people tolerate it?


Their songs are usually sing-song piano triteness building to massive overblown crescendos. I've got no problem with bombast. The best rock bands make a fuss. But it needs to have something behind it. Bombast combined with nonsense is just a mad old lady shouting in the vegetable section.

It's a Hallmark greeting on a billboard.

It's horrid.

The third reason is that we don't need this band, because we've already got them. Obviously Chris wants to be MiniBono, Make Trade Bland - but that's fair enough. His band, though, so cravenly want to be Radiohead and U2 that it's almost cute. The dynamics, the guitar sounds, the vocals, they're all second hand knock offs, missing a piece.

Like U2, they're working with Brian Eno again on this album. So we know what to expect. The last album was planned to end with a duet with Johnny Cash. Exactly like U2. Though unlike U2, Cash dropped dead before he could record it. That tells you all you need to know.

I expect we'll hear from a bunch of Coldplay fans on the messageboard. I'm afraid I can't like your band almost whatever they do. I'm interested, though. Who are you all? Do you like music? Or is it just something inoffensive to play in the car?

Do you secretly believe that if it wasn't for critical snobbery, everyone would like Coldplay? Do you like U2? There are Coldplay fans who don't like U2, aren't there?

I really want to hear from those ones.


(from MSN :D ) http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/music/features/article.aspx?cp-documentid=8343172


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2008 10:12 am 
Offline
Senior Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 12:51 pm
Posts: 14495
Location: Heaven
I quite like Coldplay. You can whistle along with their tunes and that Chris Martin was funny in Shaun of the Dead.

I also like Celtic Frost and Burzum.

_________________
And put on that wig I bought you. No, no, no, no. The reddish-brown one.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2008 10:17 am 
Offline
Junior Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 5:54 pm
Posts: 4161
Location: God's own county
When they aired the new single for the first time, Martin said that they aimed to win back fans of the first album and maybe gain some new fans.........great idea but it all went a bit wrong when Jo slutface pressed play on the CD. Absolutely fucking awful.

_________________
Joeyyyyyyyyyyyyyy


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2008 10:19 am 
Offline
Junior Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 5:54 pm
Posts: 4161
Location: God's own county
slart wrote:
I quite like Coldplay. You can whistle along with their tunes and that Chris Martin was funny in Shaun of the Dead.

I also like Celtic Frost and Burzum.


You're in one of those moods aren't you?

_________________
Joeyyyyyyyyyyyyyy


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2008 10:21 am 
Offline
Member

Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 10:59 am
Posts: 9005
He does like U2 as well so I guess we know the truth.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2008 10:36 am 
Offline
Member

Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 12:21 pm
Posts: 5948
Location: Wiv ze Jermanz
I own all 3 albums from Coldplay so far. :o But I haven't played any of them in ages either. I wonder why?

BLOODY HELL!!!! I didn't realise that I owned the grand total of 3 U2 albums as well: October, Boy, The Joshua Tree.
Not played them in at least the last 12 months.

Ho hum. Or should that be prattle and hum.

Good article Cloudy.

_________________
It's a whopper indeed. It's probably really meaningful and probably quite profound yet still, somehow, nonsense! No offence, Shimmer. - Buffbill

no no no, i like the foreigners. it's those c nts in white football shirts that get on my tits. - GA (on England)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2008 12:39 pm 
Offline
Junior Member
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 02, 2008 11:31 am
Posts: 590
Location: Tottingtown
I'm the same as you Frank, they're not even on my mp3 player. For me I tend not to listen to lyrics and more the music behind it which is why I don't mind Coldplay really.

Think I might give them a listen today now.

_________________
Kerrrrrchiiing!!!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2008 12:42 pm 
Offline
Member
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 02, 2008 11:16 am
Posts: 6383
Location: Sale
littleblueman wrote:
I'm the same as you Frank, they're not even on my mp3 player. For me I tend not to listen to lyrics and more the music behind it which is why I don't mind Coldplay really.

Think I might give them a listen today now.


I wont bother listening to them today, as I am not yet ready to commit suicide


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2008 12:43 pm 
Offline
Junior Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 5:54 pm
Posts: 4161
Location: God's own county
littleblueman wrote:
I'm the same as you Frank, they're not even on my mp3 player. For me I tend not to listen to lyrics and more the music behind it which is why I don't mind Coldplay really.

Think I might give them a listen today now.


Keep a bucket handy to collect your melting brain as it pours from your ears.

_________________
Joeyyyyyyyyyyyyyy


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2008 12:49 pm 
Offline
Junior Member
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 02, 2008 11:31 am
Posts: 590
Location: Tottingtown
ESM wrote:
Keep a bucket handy to collect your melting brain as it pours from your ears.

I'll maybe only listen to a couple of tracks so I'll just keep some cotton buds handy

_________________
Kerrrrrchiiing!!!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2008 1:27 pm 
Offline
Senior Member

Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 12:41 pm
Posts: 13025
the only tune of Coldplay's i don't mind so much is 'Talk', but i think that probably has something to do with the fact that they knicked the melody of Kraftwerk.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2008 2:39 pm 
Offline
Senior Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 12:51 pm
Posts: 14495
Location: Heaven
Half Bassman Half Biscuit wrote:
the only tune of Coldplay's i don't mind so much is 'Talk', but i think that probably has something to do with the fact that they knicked the melody off Kraftwerk.


I think it was the other way around. I bet those sneaky futuristic Germans were sitting around their Kling Klang studio in Dussledorf ine day in 1975 bored out of their tree and decided instead of building another analogue synthesiser they built a time machine instead and went into the future. When they got there they thought it would be a laugh to nick the melody line from a song by a weedy bunch of English bedwetters.

So, who wrote the melody line?

Star Trek episodes have been built on shakier foundations you know.

_________________
And put on that wig I bought you. No, no, no, no. The reddish-brown one.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 12 posts ] 

All times are UTC


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 18 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group