Manchester City Forums :: View topic - Sex: what we've learned so far.

I don't think I told the forum about this, but I will now. It is no sex anecdote but it it is a bit of fun. At the pub recently for after work drinks and a bird comes in seeking money for a charity. She was fit for the record. No brainer really otherwise I wouldn't be talking about her. And she's getting round the tables and gets to ours, I was the furtherst from her and while she was chatting one of my mates looked at me with a sour face and says 'what is that smell?'. I didn't pay attention to him, she was asking for money and no one was giving so being danny I said 'I'll buy five as long as you give me a cuddle'. She had no out so, I paid for em and she came round the table. I leaned in and got a full throat full of her breath. She smelt of dog shit. Not like she might of stepped in some and has carried it in on her shoe, there was no mistaking she fumed dog shit from her breath. Never in my life have I witnessed anything nearly as bad, I've met plentya person with horrid breath but this was different, she was Queen Halitosis Halotei. I couldn't get away quick enough, and I still don't know how that could be. I now know what it would be like wandering through the rings of saturn. She either had the worst possible case of bad breath, or she ate dog shit just before coming in. Feel sorry for the poor girl. Cunt.

that the one with the meat head boyfriend?

Now she's saying she just wants to be friends and doesn't want to lead me on blah blah next time she gets drunk she'll be throwing herself at me
All I want is the opportunity to have a relatively sober night with her as I don't think either of the past two occasions have properly represented our mutual fuckability. She's incredibly flexible but I haven't taken advantage of that, and also last time she wanted me to go down on her but I literally couldn't because my mouth was drier than the Sahara desert because I was too drunk. She needs to have all the available information available to her before she decides she doesn't want me as a fuckbuddy!

Ah love's young dream

Now she's saying she just wants to be friends and doesn't want to lead me on blah blah next time she gets drunk she'll be throwing herself at me

All I want is the opportunity to have a relatively sober night with her as I don't think either of the past two occasions have properly represented our mutual fuckability. She's incredibly flexible but I haven't taken advantage of that, and also last time she wanted me to go down on her but I literally couldn't because my mouth was drier than the Sahara desert because I was too drunk. She needs to have all the available information available to her before she decides she doesn't want me as a fuckbuddy!

Ah love's young dream

Author:	Bastard [ Thu Nov 21, 2013 10:18 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Sex: what we've learned so far.
Every day's a school day.

Author:	Bastard [ Thu Nov 21, 2013 10:57 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Sex: what we've learned so far.
and:

Author:	Danny's Studs [ Mon Nov 25, 2013 12:17 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Sex: what we've learned so far.
I don't think I told the forum about this, but I will now. It is no sex anecdote but it it is a bit of fun. At the pub recently for after work drinks and a bird comes in seeking money for a charity. She was fit for the record. No brainer really otherwise I wouldn't be talking about her. And she's getting round the tables and gets to ours, I was the furtherst from her and while she was chatting one of my mates looked at me with a sour face and says 'what is that smell?'. I didn't pay attention to him, she was asking for money and no one was giving so being danny I said 'I'll buy five as long as you give me a cuddle'. She had no out so, I paid for em and she came round the table. I leaned in and got a full throat full of her breath. She smelt of dog shit. Not like she might of stepped in some and has carried it in on her shoe, there was no mistaking she fumed dog shit from her breath. Never in my life have I witnessed anything nearly as bad, I've met plentya person with horrid breath but this was different, she was Queen Halitosis Halotei. I couldn't get away quick enough, and I still don't know how that could be. I now know what it would be like wandering through the rings of saturn. She either had the worst possible case of bad breath, or she ate dog shit just before coming in. Feel sorry for the poor girl. Cunt.

Author:	Bastard [ Mon Nov 25, 2013 6:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Sex: what we've learned so far.
Did, erm, ahem, you wouldn't have happened to get her number by any chance?

Author:	kippax_in_my_blood [ Mon Nov 25, 2013 8:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Sex: what we've learned so far.
Danny's Studs wrote: I don't think I told the forum about this, but I will now. It is no sex anecdote but it it is a bit of fun. At the pub recently for after work drinks and a bird comes in seeking money for a charity. She was fit for the record. No brainer really otherwise I wouldn't be talking about her. And she's getting round the tables and gets to ours, I was the furtherst from her and while she was chatting one of my mates looked at me with a sour face and says 'what is that smell?'. I didn't pay attention to him, she was asking for money and no one was giving so being danny I said 'I'll buy five as long as you give me a cuddle'. She had no out so, I paid for em and she came round the table. I leaned in and got a full throat full of her breath. She smelt of dog shit. Not like she might of stepped in some and has carried it in on her shoe, there was no mistaking she fumed dog shit from her breath. Never in my life have I witnessed anything nearly as bad, I've met plentya person with horrid breath but this was different, she was Queen Halitosis Halotei. I couldn't get away quick enough, and I still don't know how that could be. I now know what it would be like wandering through the rings of saturn. She either had the worst possible case of bad breath, or she ate dog shit just before coming in. Feel sorry for the poor girl. Cunt. So you nailed her then.... in both her poop chutes...

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Sex: what we've learned so far. http://www.mancityforum.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=9028	Page 25 of 26

Author:	Danny's Studs [ Fri Nov 29, 2013 4:08 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Sex: what we've learned so far.
Paddy's back!

Author:	Bastard [ Tue May 06, 2014 12:02 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Sex: what we've learned so far.
Bit of a WTF: http://www.vice.com/read/yo1-v14n10

Author:	BiscuitBlueCheese [ Tue May 27, 2014 12:26 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Sex: what we've learned so far.
Shagged a girl from work a couple of times recently, except either one of us has been arseholed so I've been trying to arrange to see her again so we can both remember it for once. She was round last weekend with some other people from work (who she wants to keep it secret from) except she dragged me downstairs every 10 minutes to jump on me and wanted me to fuck her on the kitchen table. Then last week she wormed out of meeting up because she doesn't want anything to happen because she's scared of how she feels about me when she just wants to be single, then the other morning I was treated to a snapchat from her she'd sent having got back in from a night out of her wearing nothing but a thong, lying on a bed with her arse in the air presenting herself to me. Women lol

Author:	gibbonicus_andronicus [ Tue May 27, 2014 12:43 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Sex: what we've learned so far.
that the one with the meat head boyfriend?

Author:	Squidge [ Tue May 27, 2014 6:45 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Sex: what we've learned so far.
Sometimes people have sex and don't post it on football forums

Author:	slart [ Wed May 28, 2014 9:28 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Sex: what we've learned so far.
Well, I'm glad young BBC is getting his end away. A young lad with a severe case of blue balls can have tragic consequences....

Author:	Danny's Studs [ Wed May 28, 2014 12:47 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Sex: what we've learned so far.
I'm with BBC on this one.

Author:	BiscuitBlueCheese [ Wed May 28, 2014 1:19 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Sex: what we've learned so far.
Now she's saying she just wants to be friends and doesn't want to lead me on blah blah next time she gets drunk she'll be throwing herself at me All I want is the opportunity to have a relatively sober night with her as I don't think either of the past two occasions have properly represented our mutual fuckability. She's incredibly flexible but I haven't taken advantage of that, and also last time she wanted me to go down on her but I literally couldn't because my mouth was drier than the Sahara desert because I was too drunk. She needs to have all the available information available to her before she decides she doesn't want me as a fuckbuddy! Ah love's young dream

Author:	slart [ Wed May 28, 2014 2:29 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Sex: what we've learned so far.
As long as it doesn't end with a pile of corpses and a badly written, lengthy, boring manifesto then we should be happy BBC comes on here to boast about "getting jiggy" with his workmate.

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Author:	gibbonicus_andronicus [ Wed May 28, 2014 3:49 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Sex: what we've learned so far.
BiscuitBlueCheese wrote: Now she's saying she just wants to be friends and doesn't want to lead me on blah blah next time she gets drunk she'll be throwing herself at me All I want is the opportunity to have a relatively sober night with her as I don't think either of the past two occasions have properly represented our mutual fuckability. She's incredibly flexible but I haven't taken advantage of that, and also last time she wanted me to go down on her but I literally couldn't because my mouth was drier than the Sahara desert because I was too drunk. She needs to have all the available information available to her before she decides she doesn't want me as a fuckbuddy! Ah love's young dream just drink less than her, doofus.

Author:	Jesus O'Nazareth [ Wed May 28, 2014 5:07 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Sex: what we've learned so far.
BiscuitBlueCheese wrote: Now she's saying she just wants to be friends and doesn't want to lead me on blah blah next time she gets drunk she'll be throwing herself at me All I want is the opportunity to have a relatively sober night with her as I don't think either of the past two occasions have properly represented our mutual fuckability. She's incredibly flexible but I haven't taken advantage of that, and also last time she wanted me to go down on her but I literally couldn't because my mouth was drier than the Sahara desert because I was too drunk. She needs to have all the available information available to her before she decides she doesn't want me as a fuckbuddy! Ah love's young dream So you got dumped. Again.