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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 12:42 am 
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Today I was reminded of this girl I had sex with when I was 16. Although the sex itself was awful the build up to it still amazes me. There was this girl where I used to live who was part of the gang I knocked about with in the evenings. One day jokingly I said to her, in front of everyone, so are we going to have this shag then? Just a really throw away line to get a laugh... She laughed too, it was all good natured. So I started saying that to her quite often, embellishing here and there, not thinking it was remotely on the cards and then one day she said OK, let's go to mine now... So we did. I'm not sure what the lesson is but there it is.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 12:50 am 
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It won't let me search for threads with "sex" in the title. :(

It did let me search for "sexy", but there was only one.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 1:47 am 
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I feel very much at home in this thread. I got good sex stories but I am going to feed them one at a time. Now is a time for sharing.

When I was 16 we were (all the gang) at a huge party and this girl I worked with at a cafe was there as well, she was a year younger than me. So I said 'wanna go for a walk' which in Oz at that age is a very posh way of saying 'can I fingerbang you?'. She agreed and we went to the park, found a patch not already inhabited by other party goers already tangled up. We were not at it long and she got cold feet 'Erm, Danny, how long do you want to be with me for?'. I replied, I thought sensibly 'About 20 minutes?'. She was disgusted, pulled her jeans on and walked away and me still on the ground yelled in desperation to get my finger back there 'Okay, how about 5mins?!'.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 2:00 am 
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A girlfriend of mine who is smoking hot but a massive tart tried once to make a list of all the guys she slept with. She showed me it, it had among the actual names the likes of: guy at taxi rank, guy at bus stop III, guy in So and So bar toilets VII, couple from Chiswick, you guy I work with I - XXV ....it was inconclusive and she gave up the list. Her plight continues.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 2:03 am 
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When I was 18 working at a pizza shop, a girl came in the shop that the owner knew. She was *16yrs old and had run away from her folks, any way long story short the owner asked me if I could look after her for a night, I said that wasn't wise, he pleaded and asked that I do and most definitely do not go near her. I did but I did. Well it was on a fucking plate, how could I not?!

* lie

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 2:59 am 
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And as she was homeless, Studs could drop her off anywhere the next morning.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 4:10 am 
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From an old thread.
slart wrote:
I was once getting busy with a chick who kept whispering "Don't hit me. You're not going to me are you?" I said "er, no. I hadn't planned on that" She then put on a baby voice and said "My brother hits me. Are you going to hit me as well?"
I located my trousers and ran away.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 9:35 am 
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the half joking "show us your white bits" after she'd been away on a sunny holiday got me the girl for the past 7ish years.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 9:53 am 
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I was once shagging a fat bird I picked up at a Halloween do and she started punching me in the face, so I flipped her over to put a stop to it. Just as I approached the vinegar stroke I looked up to see 3 or 4 of my mates sniggering on my landing. Very embarrassing, she was quite sizable:whistle:

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 9:57 am 
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EalingBlue wrote:
I was once shagging a fat bird I picked up at a Halloween do and she started punching me in the face, so I flipped her over to put a stop to it. Just as I approached the vinegar stroke I looked up to see 3 or 4 of my mates sniggering on my landing. Very embarrassing, she was quite sizable:whistle:


Lol.

Did you finish?


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 10:01 am 
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least it was a holloween party and you could possibly say you thought it was a really convincing fat suit.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 10:09 am 
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I was with this girl once who, after I'd been fingering her for a bit, told me that her ex finacee raped her. wtf kinda thing is that to say to a person you've just met? On top of that, she was tight as anything and not all that attractive really, so I think she was lying, almost certain in fact. Begs the WTF? question again.

Next day I nearly had to break out cos she wouldn't give me the key for the front door.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 10:10 am 
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Milnerinho wrote:
Lol.

Did you finish?


Nah, I was on E's at the time so vinegar stroke was probably an exaggeration.:o

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tbf.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 10:17 am 
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half way through and this girl starts crying.

i finish before asking what's up.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 10:18 am 
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gibbonicus_andronicus wrote:
half way through and this girl starts crying.

i finish before asking what's up.


damn straight

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 10:22 am 
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good tears if i remember correctly, not something along the lines of "rape" and "not again".

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"i'm gonna wreck you so bad we're going to have to change church"


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 10:26 am 
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gibbonicus_andronicus wrote:
good tears if i remember correctly, not something along the lines of "rape" and "not again".


I tried fucking a lesbian once, think she wanted to try it out. Couldn't do it. I'd had a skinful and she just lay back. No playing with it, no nothing. No attempt to counteract the effects of brewers droop.

Bit gutted about that tbh, she had great tits.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 10:30 am 
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cooder wrote:
I tried fucking a lesbian once, think she wanted to try it out. Couldn't do it. I'd had a skinful and she just lay back. No playing with it, no nothing. No attempt to counteract the effects of brewers droop.

Bit gutted about that tbh, she had great tits.


I had this happen to me with this fillipino girl in the toilets at Camden underworld. She wanted anal. I could have cried:(

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 10:34 am 
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you sure she was a girl and not just tucking it away?

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"i'm gonna wreck you so bad we're going to have to change church"


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 10:37 am 
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gibbonicus_andronicus wrote:
you sure she was a girl and not just tucking it away?


Very sure, I inspected it rather thoroughly.

*nudgenudgewinkwink*

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