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Slart's Twlight Review
http://www.mancityforum.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=7953		 Page 1 of 6
Author:  slart [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 3:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Slart's Twlight Review
A few weeks BBC went on a rant against the Twilght books. He seemed to think that because he was an English Lit student he was an authority on quality literature and as should dictate to the world what books were suitable for general consumption.

He seemed to think that the Twilight books would lead young girls astray. And that the shitness of the writing would rot everyone's mind. As someone with an English Lit degree, I vowed to buy a copy of the book and review it here and decide if BBC was right or if he was just being a know all student who talks through his hole.

Well, today during my lunch break I bought a copy as part of a 3 for 2 deal in Waterstones. The other books I picked up were the new ones by Nick Hornby and Neil Gaiman.

The first decision I had to make was which edition I should purchase. One copy was the film tie-in version with Edward the vampire and his clingy chick on the cover. They also had the regular edition. I bought the regular one. If I actually like this one and want to buy the others it would be nicer if the covers all matched up.

I'll read the first chapter on the bus home and let you know what I think. I wouldn't hold out much hope though. I rented out the dvd a few months ago and fell asleep during the first half hour.
Author:  BiscuitBlueCheese [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 4:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh good this should be fun.

Again, though, I was never suggesting that because I'm an Eng Lit student I have any more right or authority to comment on the book than anyone else, just that when I tell people what course I'm doing people start talking to me about books and girls usually tell me to read Twilight which exacerbated my hatred of it. That's all.
Author:  BiscuitBlueCheese [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
It's more the whole Twilight phenomenon that I hate as opposed to the books themselves, something is going wrong when you can buy sparkly dildos which can be refrigerated in order to achieve that 'proper' vampire feel.
Author:  BiscuitBlueCheese [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Where's gibbonicus to pop up with 'you're shit and always back down from your points' when you need him?
Author:  Danny's Studs [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'd rather gnaw my own foot off...
Author:  gibbonicus_andronicus [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
BiscuitBlueCheese wrote:
Where's gibbonicus to pop up with 'you're shit and always back down from your points' when you need him?


hais

BiscuitBlueCheese wrote:
Oh good this should be fun.

Again, though, I was never suggesting that because I'm an Eng Lit student I have any more right or authority to comment on the book than anyone else, just that when I tell people what course I'm doing people start talking to me about books and girls usually tell me to read Twilight which exacerbated my hatred of it. That's all.

lies
BiscuitBlueCheese wrote:
It's more the whole Twilight phenomenon that I hate as opposed to the books themselves, something is going wrong when you can buy sparkly dildos which can be refrigerated in order to achieve that 'proper' vampire feel.


you're just jealous that gina prefers sparkly cold dong to your warm thing. :8ball:

i missed that bit. honestly BBC, flippity floppity flippity floppity.
Author:  gibbonicus_andronicus [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Danny's Studs wrote:
I'd rather gnaw my own foot off...


i'd rather gnaw bassy's feet off.

twilight stuff, it's schlocky shite, but hey if people like that they may develop some other literary interests.

also, teenage girls have shit taste in everything, at least this is something vaguely interesting rather than the anodyne boy bands of previous decades.

it also provides a marker for girls (above teen years) who read it. you know that they will be easily deceived and you can probably stick it in their pooper if you wear some fangs. or something.
Author:  gibbonicus_andronicus [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
slart wrote:
A few weeks BBC went on a rant against the Twilght books. He seemed to think that because he was an English Lit student he was an authority on quality literature and as should dictate to the world what books were suitable for general consumption.

truedat
Author:  BiscuitBlueCheese [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
gibbonicus_andronicus wrote:
lies


If I could be arsed I'd go back and dredge my old posts up, I'm pretty sure that's the only reason I brought up me studying it, I don't for a second think that being a first year student of it gives me any more authority to judge it.
Author:  gibbonicus_andronicus [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
you've been a student for fucking ages. you repeat a year or something?

if so - good man.

if you say you went travelling to find yourself however...
Author:  BiscuitBlueCheese [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
gibbonicus_andronicus wrote:
you've been a student for fucking ages. you repeat a year or something?

if so - good man.

if you say you went travelling to find yourself however...


Yep, fucked up my first year, 2009 was a pretty shit one for me to be honest - started out with a funeral down in portsmouth at the same place we had my dad cremated, then we actually collected his ashes and I had to hold the box with his ashes in on the 6 hour drive back up to Leeds, then I was in that car crash that could have very easily killed me or my sister, then my girlfriend had an operation and there were complications a week or so later which was extremely traumatic for her so I spent a month or so back in Leeds with her...
Author:  gibbonicus_andronicus [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
yeesh.

yeah. shit year, good fucking riddance.
Author:  Miss.City [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
I love the Twilight Books :)
Author:  gibbonicus_andronicus [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
do you have a special sparkly dildo that goes in the freezer to get the authentic vampire experience, minus the teeth?

although i was under the impression that sex with the vampy one meant dying, at least in the books?
Author:  BiscuitBlueCheese [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
gibbonicus_andronicus wrote:
although i was under the impression that sex with the vampy one meant dying, at least in the books?


Yes, he has to hold back or he'll fuck her to death.

Manages to get her pregnant in the fourth one though and then the baby is psychic and speaks to them all via telepathy and grows at an accelerated rate and breaks her spine from inside so edward gives her a caesarean with his teeth and then the werewolf falls in love with the child as soon as he sees it and then edward and bella go off and have lots of hot (well, cold actually) vampire sex all night long because they don't need to sleep

I wish I was joking
Author:  Miss.City [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
gibbonicus_andronicus wrote:
do you have a special sparkly dildo that goes in the freezer to get the authentic vampire experience, minus the teeth?



No
Author:  Miss.City [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
BiscuitBlueCheese wrote:
Yes, he has to hold back or he'll fuck her to death.

Manages to get her pregnant in the fourth one though and then the baby is psychic and speaks to them all via telepathy and grows at an accelerated rate and breaks her spine from inside so edward gives her a caesarean with his teeth and then the werewolf falls in love with the child as soon as he sees it and then edward and bella go off and have lots of hot (well, cold actually) vampire sex all night long because they don't need to sleep

I wish I was joking


My favourite book is the 4th one! :D
Author:  DarloBlue [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
BiscuitBlueCheese wrote:
Yes, he has to hold back or he'll fuck her to death.

Manages to get her pregnant in the fourth one though and then the baby is psychic and speaks to them all via telepathy and grows at an accelerated rate and breaks her spine from inside so edward gives her a caesarean with his teeth and then the werewolf falls in love with the child as soon as he sees it and then edward and bella go off and have lots of hot (well, cold actually) vampire sex all night long because they don't need to sleep

I wish I was joking


You're ruining it for Slart.
Author:  BiscuitBlueCheese [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
DarloBlue wrote:
You're ruining it for Slart.


If he gets all the way to the fourth I'd be surprised
Author:  slart [ Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
BiscuitBlueCheese wrote:
If he gets all the way to the fourth I'd be surprised


I'll be surprised if I make it to the 4th page.
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