Manchester City Forums

How long is the first chapter then?:S

_________________
Miggs.
Gary Neville Ate My Baby

To save you the trouble Slart, read this:

http://theoatmeal.com/story/twilight

It explains everything...

_________________
CTID

how the fuck would you know that ?

_________________
'Fabio, the round thing there is the ball'

Aguero

he likes the proper "vampire" feeling.

_________________
"It felt like a really pointless version of ketamine: no psychedelic effects, no pleasant slide into rubbery nonsense, just a sudden drop off the cliff of wrongness."
"i'm gonna wreck you so bad we're going to have to change church"

Read the prelude and most of the first chapter.

In the first few pages our heroine is in grave danger and is being hunted. Then chapter one starts. It is a flash back (or is the prelude a flash forward? I'm not sure.) She is going to live with her dad in a horrible little hickey town where it rains all the time. The town is called "Fork".
Bella (our heroine) is a pasty faced teenager who doesn't seem to like anything much. She gets a new truck and starts in a new school. She doesn't know anyone else but the other students start to make friends with her. No vampires yet but there is a sense of impending doom (fog, rain, teenage depression etc)
Bella seems to be like a lot of teenage girls these days. The only difference is she isn't a big fan of the Twilight films and books like most young ones are these days.

I'll read a bit more on the bus home and let you all know what happens next.

Or maybe it'll be easier and faster if I watch the dvd instead...

_________________
And put on that wig I bought you. No, no, no, no. The reddish-brown one.

i watched the dvd and would rather rip my eyes out and replace them with curried marbles than watch it again

_________________
'Fabio, the round thing there is the ball'

Aguero

so, more bad bits than good bits then. would you recommend it to bassy?

_________________
"It felt like a really pointless version of ketamine: no psychedelic effects, no pleasant slide into rubbery nonsense, just a sudden drop off the cliff of wrongness."
"i'm gonna wreck you so bad we're going to have to change church"

My Mum has an English Lit degree. She reads lots and lots of books. Up to 5 a week. (She has no life or bf). She usually reads Sebastian Faulks, Patrick Gale, Jodi Picoult etc etc etc. Someone bought her the Twilight books for Christmas. she had finished it by Boxing day night. She loved it.

I cant personally think of anything worse than reading about vampires.

_________________
On heat since November 2008

Well, the only books that Bassy ever read were ones by Stuart Maconie (the music ones, not the ones about being a professional Northerner) and badly written shite about the Sex Pistols and Factory Records.

I don't think he had actually heard about "dvds" and "videos".

_________________
And put on that wig I bought you. No, no, no, no. The reddish-brown one.

How about reading Gary Neville's autobiography?

_________________
And put on that wig I bought you. No, no, no, no. The reddish-brown one.

Yeah that'd be pretty bad.

_________________
On heat since November 2008

If you watch it as a straight up comedy it's actually pretty good

any update or did you give up slart?

_________________
"It felt like a really pointless version of ketamine: no psychedelic effects, no pleasant slide into rubbery nonsense, just a sudden drop off the cliff of wrongness."
"i'm gonna wreck you so bad we're going to have to change church"

Finished Chapter One. Bella sees Edward the vampire in school. He's very handsome but he's a moody bastard. He sits in the canteen with his weird step brothers and sisters. Nobody in the school likes them. They are outsiders. She fancies him and is sad that he doesn't like her. She cries when she drives her truck home from school. It rains again.

I'll read chapter two on the bus home.

_________________
And put on that wig I bought you. No, no, no, no. The reddish-brown one.

I might start re-reading eclipse cause of this thread!

and how many pages did that take for the book to get across?
they could in fact have saved many trees if they had followed your story telling brevity.

_________________
"It felt like a really pointless version of ketamine: no psychedelic effects, no pleasant slide into rubbery nonsense, just a sudden drop off the cliff of wrongness."
"i'm gonna wreck you so bad we're going to have to change church"

I know. I think I'll send an email to Stephanie Meyer and tell her how to write the rest of the books. Mine would be a lot shorter and of course much better.

_________________
And put on that wig I bought you. No, no, no, no. The reddish-brown one.

Well, I'll read it for you and sumarise it here.

_________________
And put on that wig I bought you. No, no, no, no. The reddish-brown one.

every other page could be a large print "having sex is bad and will kill you" in shiney pink glittery letters as well.

_________________
"It felt like a really pointless version of ketamine: no psychedelic effects, no pleasant slide into rubbery nonsense, just a sudden drop off the cliff of wrongness."
"i'm gonna wreck you so bad we're going to have to change church"

Nahhh I want to read it properly. I need to buy Breaking Dawn. That's the best one.