Manchester City Forums

This one's not so much a joke more of a Freudian slip really.

I was walking down our local high street this morning when I skidded on a banana skin so I fucked my mum.

An elephant meets a rhinoceros in the jungle and says to him "Hi there, I wonder if you could do me a favour? You see I'm blind and I have no idea what I am?"

"No problem" says the rhino "Now then, lets have a look at you. Well, you've got a little curly tail, a pair of floppy ears, tusks and a long crinkly trunk. I reckon you must be an elephant!
To tell the truth I'm not exactly sure what I am so could you return the favour?"

"Of course I can" says the elephant and starts patting the rhino with his trunk "ok, so you have a pair of big thick legs, a great big fat stomach and a fucking MASSIVE mouth!

You're a scouser!"

"I kicked the new Bond villain out of my pub"
"Javier Bardem?"
"No, he can come back when he's sober..."

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KYPU

I LOLd!

Hi Charlotte. DYING to hear what you have to say. Talk to me. Dites-moi! Tell us what's going, what's the scoop, what's the saga! Meanwhile, here's another joke for you, well I say 'joke' in actual fact there is truth it is as well, at least for me it is. Anyway, enough prattling on from me...to the joke-mobile!

You know what the number one cause of paedophilia in United Kingdom is? Good looking children.

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KYPU

It's sexy kids Danny, sexy kids.

Funny life being a paedophile though.

Well swings and roundabouts I suppose.

I'ts not BBC, it's not.

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KYPU

Slight sarcasm there by any chance j'ai rien à dire...malheureusement I'm just having a quick spy at the threads and I felt compelled to check out the joke one, I mean, who can resist? I wasn't left disappointed if that helps

Educated as well!

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The Senior Member

As well as what?

Almost certainly Paddy. Or Miggs.

Ahhhhhhh....there she is! Welcome back you little beauty! Saw your pics on FB, stunner!

You don't need to have a 'quick spy', I actually conduct tours every Friday night for noobs. There is no charge but you'll need to bring your bikini (hey, hey, hey, don't roll your eyes, I don't make the rules here, but I must enforce otherwise what next...anarchy?) and your drinking shoes. It'll be a smasher you'll see.

Do you visit any other City forums? Why did you come to settle here? You have settled here by the way Charlotte, you'll get use to it here, it's really very comfortable... *puts a reassuring arm around Charlotte's shoulders and leads her down the corridor*

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KYPU

... and into the dungeon

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"It felt like a really pointless version of ketamine: no psychedelic effects, no pleasant slide into rubbery nonsense, just a sudden drop off the cliff of wrongness."
"i'm gonna wreck you so bad we're going to have to change church"

I'm not sure whether to be scared or flattered You must be some sort of genius to have found me on Facebook as Charlotte is actually my middle name busted!

Yeah, I'm in quite a few City forums - the Bluemoon one and Manchestercity.vitalfootball. How about you?

Looking forward to tomorrow night - I'll drink you under the table

I just lolled a lot. Ladies and Gents, I give you Bill Dance;

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KYPU

Eric Clapton was on 6 Music earlier saying how Savile's career really took off in 1967 when, backstage at Top of the Pops, he introduced Cream to the Small Faces.

Lolled.

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KYPU

Massively incompatible with your indignation at the child abuse in the other thread but funny.