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 Post subject: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 1:34 pm 
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Location: Heaven
Kid: Mum, Mum, why has Dad got his dick stuck in the biscuit tin?

Mum: Don't worry, he's fucking crackers

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And put on that wig I bought you. No, no, no, no. The reddish-brown one.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 1:44 pm 
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Location: frank sidebottoms shed in timperley
Kid see his mum in the bath.!

Kid: "whats that mum".?

Mum: "Thats my hedgehog son"

Kid " Oh yeah......Its just like nana's except hers has been run over"...:D

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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 4:12 pm 
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Location: Swimming with Len Fairclough
My wife went on a sailing holiday in Poole
In Dorset?
Yeah, she loved it


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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 5:01 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 10:48 pm
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Location: Dublin
:clap:


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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 5:11 pm 
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I think my job interview to be a insect sorter went well.

I boxed all the right ticks.


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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 8:13 pm 
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Bastard wrote:
My wife went on a sailing holiday in Poole
In Dorset?
Yeah, she loved it


Brilliant. I lolled out loud out loud.


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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 8:14 pm 
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Location: The Hearts and Minds of Millions
My wife went on holiday to a Caribbean island.
Jamaica?
No, she chose herself.


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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 9:06 pm 
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A beautiful woman walks into a bar and the barman says "what can I get you?"

"I'll have a double entendre" she replied.

So he gave her one.


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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 8:04 am 
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The cast of Dad's Army are to start tracing their family trees.

"Who Do You Think You Are.. Kidding Mr Hitler" starts this Autumn.


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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 5:57 pm 
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Location: Australia
A young man is walking down by the docks one day and decides to stop by a bar and have a beer. He walks into a bar, and sees a grizzled old fisherman, crying into his beer. Curious, the young man sits down and says, “Hey old timer, why the long face?”
The old man looks at him and points out the window, “See that dock out there? I built that dock with my own two hands, plank by plank, nail by nail, but do they call me Simon the dockbuilder? No,no."
The old man continued, “And see that ship out there? I ’ve been fishing these waters for going on thirty-five years! but do they call me Simon the fisherman? No,no. ”
The old man starts to cry again, “But you fuck one goat … ”

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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 6:24 pm 
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:clap: :clap:


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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 7:42 pm 
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I think all the good chemistry jokes

Argon


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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 7:48 pm 
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My girlfriend changed after she became a vegetarian.

It's like I've never seen herbivore


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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 1:19 pm 
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Location: Merseyside UK
David Beckham received a lovely flask for his birthday off Victoria, What is it he asked? Victoria replied it is a Flask David, it keeps cold things cold and hot things hot, overjoyed with his present he took it with him to training to show his team-mates, one of his team mates asked what he has in his flask in which David replies Tea and 2 Choc Ices.


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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 1:27 pm 
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Location: Merseyside UK
Victoria and David Beckham decide to go horse riding for the day, they start off at a slow pace and are enjoying it until Davids Horse decides to speed up a bit, Victoria looking Alarmed shouted for him to stop but as the horse started going faster David decided that he should jump off the horse but on doing so got his foot got caught in the stirrup.

At which point the owner of the shop ran out and switched the mechanical horse off.


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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 10:02 am 
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My mate overdosed on heartburn tablets the other night and died...
I can't believe gavisgon!


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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 5:26 am 
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After landing myself in jail, I spent the next 8 hours getting relentlessly shagged up the arse.


Sometimes I think my uncle takes monopoly far too seriously.


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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 7:33 am 
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Cloudy O'Rabia wrote:
After landing myself in jail, I spent the next 8 hours getting relentlessly shagged up the arse.


Sometimes I think my uncle takes monopoly far too seriously.


That's outstanding. :D

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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Fri Sep 28, 2012 9:12 am 
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Location: Kent
It's funny cos it's true!


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 Post subject: Re: Old Jokes Home
PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2012 7:22 pm 
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Location: Warrington
The maths teacher took his student to France to show her how many times 30 can go into 15

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