Manchester City Forums

I've not known her long and they've only been going out about 10 months

_________________
Keep Calm and follow Jesus Navas

Is it a shotgun wedding then gary?

_________________
tbf.

Good point, child out of wedlock in Liverpool - think of the scandal!

_________________
"It felt like a really pointless version of ketamine: no psychedelic effects, no pleasant slide into rubbery nonsense, just a sudden drop off the cliff of wrongness."
"i'm gonna wreck you so bad we're going to have to change church"

Right then this is it.

Good afternoon everyone. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Gary, Alan's Best Man.


I would like to thank Jennifer, Alan and their families for inviting us to celebrate their marriage with them on this beautiful day.

The large turnout in this room is truly a testament to the love, that we together have for Jennifer and Alan as well as the love they have for each other.

Thank you to all those who have made it here today.

I am especially glad to be here on this occasion to celebrate this wonderful day with my friend.

Jennifer, I have gotten to know you since you met Alan and I am so proud of my Best Friend that he has married such a caring, gorgeous, warm, loving girl like yourself. Ladies like you don’t come along too often in life and I mean the word “lady” in every sense, you are the perfect couple.”


I've known Alan for over 15 years (Look at Jen) Good luck. We met over our mutual love of music, More than just a long-time friend who has always been there for me, Alan is one of the finest people I have had the privilege to know. He’s honest, sincere, loyal and intelligent.

During our 15 years of friendship we have had good times, and great times, and yes, that does include Wednesday nights at Darcys, when you have a moment you want to ask alan about that.


Apart from being a brilliant artist, Alan has a bit of songwriting in him. Just going back to our love of music, there was a moment we thought we could be the next Lennon and McCartney, we'd write songs and record them, me on guitar, Alan on Bass and a drum machine, We'd already had a name for our duo, as it was at the moment Ioacrus. Alan was obsessed about putting an echo on almost everything we did which i've never understood to this day, to this day, to this day, to this day..

Over a few weeks We had about 10 maybe 12 songs when one day out of the blue, Alan had decided to send a CD of our songs to be reviewed, now these were pretty rough demos at best. About 2 weeks after sending off these songs Alan called me and asked if i'd seen the music reviews as our songs where on there, i'll be honest i was kind of dreading it but i was going to look anyways...............One and a half out of 5.......could have been worse.

That's where we thought, maybe were more Robson and Jerome than a Lennon and McCartney and called it a day.


That's enough from me i think.

I'd like you all to raise your glasses now and join me in wishing Jennifer and Alan all the very best on their marriage and may it be a very long and happy one.

To Jennifer and Alan, thank you.

I'd also like to propose a toast to the chief Bridesmaid and bridesmaids who i think you'll all agree look stunning.


I didn't wanna try and be funny, but i have printed about 4 copies so when i get up to say i just like to say a few words, look at the papers and put the other 3 on the table as if it's my speech.



Can someone seriously just say if this passes as an alright speech as i am kinda shitting it.

_________________
Keep Calm and follow Jesus Navas

It's terrible

Getting there Gal. Change gorgeous for beautiful, sounds like u want to fuck her.

Everyone shits themselves for this speech, and those that don't fuck it up. I shit myself but practised it lots before I went out and it went off fine (IMO).

For the record, every best man speech ever orated includes the line verbatim;

_________________
KYPU

fixed.

_________________
I Belong To City
____________________
BJWB.1920-31/12/2010.

He won't get a better opportunity to break his decade long drought tbf.

No matter how many times I read this my brain can't parse the words into any sense




Also this

For the time being I've deftly sidestepped the issue of having to write a best man's speech because of the two guys I'm most likely to best man for, 1 is still a virgin and the other is short, hairy, plump, has terrible personal hygiene and only ever wears one pair of shoes.

at that time

_________________
The Senior Member

Well there's that but it's more the word 'ioacrus', it's just such a horrible combination of letters, was that the name of the band? Is that going to be funny or interesting or just result in a few people looking at each other and inwardly head scratching?

I've dumped the band name bit, also changed gorgeous to beautiful.


I've robbed most of the stuff from online anyways and just added the appropriate names.

_________________
Keep Calm and follow Jesus Navas

For those of us with an IQ of 5, eh???

You mean every best man speech includes something along them lines?

_________________
Keep Calm and follow Jesus Navas

And commiserations to the bride who looks stunned..B-)

I've acquired best man duties for a fat racist from Oldham (no, not that one). Getting married next year to a seriously pikey irish bird. Wedding's in Ireland under the full weight of catholicism. That speech is a potential minefield. File under "should be fine with a few stiff ones inside me".

_________________
I raped myself once. My mind was telling me no but my body, my body was telling me yes.

Alternatively to break the tension and get a giggle early on you can include something along the lines of "although the bride looks beautiful today she was a bit nervous earlier, she should be fine with a few stiff ones inside her".

_________________
KYPU

"... or at least she always has been, from the videos i've seen"

_________________
"It felt like a really pointless version of ketamine: no psychedelic effects, no pleasant slide into rubbery nonsense, just a sudden drop off the cliff of wrongness."
"i'm gonna wreck you so bad we're going to have to change church"