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2 weeks to go and i'm still struggling for ideas, i've started it this morning and looked at a few examples online but i'm really stumped on what to put in it, not known the bride all that long and don't know what kinda stories i can tell as there will be kids there i gather and i don't remember much about our antics anyways.

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Keep Calm and follow Jesus Navas

post what you have and we'll all throw in a few ideas..

Good afternoon everyone. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Gary, Alan's Best Man.

First, I’d like to welcome everyone who travelled from near and far to be here today, and i think you'll agree that the Bride and Bridesmaids look absolutely stunning.

The large crowd in this room is truly a testament to the love that we together have for Jennifer and Alan as well as the love they have for each other. Personally i'd have rather you all stayed at home as this doesn't help with my pre-public speaking anxiety. I would like to thank Alan, Jennifer, and their families for inviting us to celebrate their marriage with them on this beautiful day

Alan and i first met about 15 years ago over our mutual love of music, More than just a long-time friend who has always been there for me, Alan is one of the finest people I have had the privilege to know. He’s honest to a fault, sincere, loyal and intelligent. He’s the person you can always count on. The guy who comes through for you even in the toughest of times.Alan is a man of his word.

During our 15 years of friendship we have had good times, and great times, and funny times, if i only i could tell you about all of them.

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Keep Calm and follow Jesus Navas

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The Senior Member

Tell the joke about the farmer having an incestuous relationship with his indentical twin daughters.

Nice and short.

Well done!

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I am the way, the truth and the life.

Sounds like you wanna marry him G. Call him a cunt.

Someone mentioned something weekend gone and i can't remember what was said, something about me and him having known each other for ages and now he's trading me in for a better model, made us out to sound like gayish lovers, oh we did laugh.

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Keep Calm and follow Jesus Navas

The most recent wedding I went to the best man spent his entire speech pacing in a perfect square to the point I wasn't listening to a word he said owing to fighting the urge to get up and grab him square by the shoulders and shout in his face to keep still

So don't do that

He was obviously very nervous and had read somewhere don't stand stock still while you're speaking but he took that a little too far in the opposite direction

I've done a groom's and father of the bride speech, keep it short and clean.

It took me 6 months to write my groom's speech.
I ripped up and rewrote my father's one whilst walking around a Greek island the day before the wedding. (It was for my sister btw)

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tbf.

Your daughter is your sister!!?!!
*bet you didn't tell the joke about the farmer and his twin daughters at that one*

Berkshire

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tbf.

worked a bit more on it and tweaked it a little.

Good afternoon everyone. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Gary, Alan's Best Man.

First, I’d like to welcome everyone who travelled from near and far to be here today, and i think you'll agree that the Bride and Bridesmaids look absolutely stunning. The large crowd in this room is truly a testament to the love that we together have for Jennifer and Alan as well as the love they have for each other. Personally i'd have rather you all stayed at home as this doesn't help with my pre-public speaking anxiety. I would like to thank Alan, Jennifer, and their families for inviting us to celebrate their marriage with them on this beautiful day

I've known Alan for over 15 years ( Look at Jen) Good luck. We met over our mutual love of music, More than just a long-time friend who has always been there for me, Alan is one of the finest people I have had the privilege to know. He’s honest to a fault, sincere, loyal and intelligent. He’s the person you can always count on. The guy who comes through for you even in the toughest of times.Alan is a man of his word.

During our 15 years of friendship we have had good times, and great times, and yes, that does include the Wednesday nights at Darcys. When you get a moment you wanna ask Alan about them nights.


Just going back to our love of music, there was a moment we thought we could be the next Lennon and McCartney, we'd write songs and record them, me on guitar, Alan on Bass and a drum machine, We'd already had a name for our duo, as it was at the moment Ioacrus. Alan was obsessed about putting an echo on almost everything we did which i've never understood to this day.

Over a few weeks We had about 10 maybe 12 songs when one day out of the blue, Alan had decided to send a CD of our stuff to be reviewed, now these were pretty rough demos at best. About 2 weeks after sending off these songs Alan called me and asked if i'd seen the music reviews as our stuff had been reviewed, i'll be honest i was kind of dreading it but i was going to look anyways...............One and a half out of 5.......could have been worse.

That's where we thought, maybe were more Robson and Jerome than a Lennon and McCartney and called it a day.

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Keep Calm and follow Jesus Navas

Fucking 4 days to go........

Good afternoon everyone. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Gary, Alan's Best Man.

I would like to thank Jennifer, Alan and their families for inviting us to celebrate their marriage with them on this beautiful day.

The large turnout in this room is truly a testament to the love, that we together have for Jennifer and Alan as well as the love they have for each other.

Thank you to all those who have made it here today.

I am especially glad to be here on this occasion to celebrate this wonderful day with my friend.

I've known Alan for over 15 years (Look at Jen) Good luck. We met over our mutual love of music, More than just a long-time friend who has always been there for me, Alan is one of the finest people I have had the privilege to know. He’s honest, sincere, loyal and intelligent.

During our 15 years of friendship we have had good times, and great times, and yes, that does include Wednesday nights at Darcys, when you have a moment you want to ask alan about that.


Apart from being a brilliant artist, Alan has a bit of songwriting in him. Just going back to our love of music, there was a moment we thought we could be the next Lennon and McCartney, we'd write songs and record them, me on guitar, Alan on Bass and a drum machine, We'd already had a name for our duo, as it was at the moment Ioacrus. Alan was obsessed about putting an echo on almost everything we did which i've never understood to this day........... to this day, to this day, to this day..

Over a few weeks We had about 10 maybe 12 songs when one day out of the blue, Alan had decided to send a CD of our stuff to be reviewed, now these were pretty rough demos at best. About 2 weeks after sending off these songs Alan called me and asked if i'd seen the music reviews as our songs had been reviewed, i'll be honest i was kind of dreading it but i was going to look anyways...............One and a half out of 5.......could have been worse.

That's where we thought, maybe were more Robson and Jerome than a Lennon and McCartney and called it a day.


That's enough from me i think.

I'd like you all to raise your glasses now and join me in wishing Jennifer and Alan all the very best on their marriage and may it be a very long and happy one.

To Jennifer and Alan, thank you.

I'd also like to propose a toast to the chief Bridesmaid and bridesmaids who i think you'll all agree look stunning.

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Keep Calm and follow Jesus Navas

What if the bridesmaids look like pigs?

It doesn't matter man, everyone beautiful for one day only.

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Keep Calm and follow Jesus Navas

all beauty is fleeting. none more so than the beauty conferred by a polite best man's speech.

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"It felt like a really pointless version of ketamine: no psychedelic effects, no pleasant slide into rubbery nonsense, just a sudden drop off the cliff of wrongness."
"i'm gonna wreck you so bad we're going to have to change church"

So you're basically whacking off over the chief bridesmaid and bridesmaids and not a mention of how the bride looks, who will've spent the past 18 months choosing a dress and starving herself so she can get into it. All she gets is a thankyou and a public announcement that her new husband has fucked half of Darcys.

Saves her waiting 3 weeks to find out and then having to write to dear Diedre at the Sun.

" MY Husband had sex with the 3 little pigs at Nightclub"

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The Senior Member

Do you not get on with Jennifer or summat?