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BiscuitBlueCheese
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 2:54 pm 
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my poos have been fantastic recently since cutting down my midweek drinking. solid, tight, good colouration, smooth passage, 1 or 2 wipes and done.
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Barna Azul
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:13 am 
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Dark Blue wrote:
*cough*

So I've got this itchy ass. And I really need to clarify this so as not to come across as Jimmy No-Brains.

1) I'm not talking about haemorrhoids I've been there and done that in my time to not waste this forum's time with such a thing.
2) I'm not talking about a dirty ass here, this can be immediately after a bath or thorough shower.

I'm not even talking about the hole itself, more like my cheeks... Clean bum, no piles, itchy fucking cheeks.

What the fuck is this?

I can't go to the doctor with itchy cheeks. I'm thinking of whacking on a load of immac and seeing if this is a hair thing.

I'm at a total loss here.


If in the crack of your arse, sounds like ingrowing hair. Its probably too late for immac mind.

Do you or have you had any spots, pusses or bumps under the skin?

Its very common in men, especially if you have a fair amount of hair there.

I would get your GP to check it out, if you have any of the above. Probably will make an appointment to cut it out for you.
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Dark Blue
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:23 am 
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Barna Azul wrote:
Dark Blue wrote:
*cough*

So I've got this itchy ass. And I really need to clarify this so as not to come across as Jimmy No-Brains.

1) I'm not talking about haemorrhoids I've been there and done that in my time to not waste this forum's time with such a thing.
2) I'm not talking about a dirty ass here, this can be immediately after a bath or thorough shower.

I'm not even talking about the hole itself, more like my cheeks... Clean bum, no piles, itchy fucking cheeks.

What the fuck is this?

I can't go to the doctor with itchy cheeks. I'm thinking of whacking on a load of immac and seeing if this is a hair thing.

I'm at a total loss here.


If in the crack of your arse, sounds like ingrowing hair. Its probably too late for immac mind.

Do you or have you had any spots, pusses or bumps under the skin?

Its very common in men, especially if you have a fair amount of hair there.

I would get your GP to check it out, if you have any of the above. Probably will make an appointment to cut it out for you.


Been there and done that, got the t-shirt, spent two days in hospital and had a district nurse pack a wound, the size of sherbet saucer, in cleft of my buttock every day for a month... But that was 15 years ago and this ain't that.

Cheers though.

The medical pics here are safe for work but some of the most horrifying images on the internet.

happy days. :cool:

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ThunderinScitters
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:28 am 
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sweet Jesus - I wish I hadn't seen that!!

Try soaking your arse in tepid cabbage water
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Barna Azul
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:29 am 
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Dark Blue wrote:

Been there and done that, got the t-shirt, spent two days in hospital and had a district nurse pack a wound, the size of sherbet saucer, in cleft of my buttock every day for a month... But that was 15 years ago and this ain't that.

Cheers though.

The medical pics here are safe for work but some of the most horrifying images on the internet.

happy days. :cool:


have you changed washing detergent recently or shower gel then?
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Dark Blue
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:37 am 
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ThunderinScitters wrote:
sweet Jesus - I wish I hadn't seen that!!

Try soaking your arse in tepid cabbage water


I've been doing that 20 years, man and boy. :approve:

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Dark Blue
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:38 am 
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Barna Azul wrote:
Dark Blue wrote:

Been there and done that, got the t-shirt, spent two days in hospital and had a district nurse pack a wound, the size of sherbet saucer, in cleft of my buttock every day for a month... But that was 15 years ago and this ain't that.

Cheers though.

The medical pics here are safe for work but some of the most horrifying images on the internet.

happy days. :cool:


have you changed washing detergent recently or shower gel then?


No changes from the usual. I hope we get to the bottom of this soon.

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gibbonicus_andronicus
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:46 am 
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is it a "wet" itchy patch or dry?

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Dark Blue
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:50 am 
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gibbonicus_andronicus wrote:
is it a "wet" itchy patch or dry?


what does "wet" mean when in commas?

If I had unexplained wet buttocks I would probably go to the doctors.

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gibbonicus_andronicus
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 12:37 pm 
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moist or otherwise seepy, suppose the commas were more to suggest it was damp rather than actively running with blood, pus or something.

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"i'm gonna wreck you so bad we're going to have to change church"
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cod head
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 6:58 pm 
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Do any fellow Guinness drinkers have black poos? I hope it's just the Guinness..
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ThunderinScitters
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 7:39 pm 
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cod head wrote:
Do any fellow Guinness drinkers have black poos? I hope it's just the Guinness..

Here in Ireland that's the physical manifestation of turning from boy to man..
It only turns back to a brownish colour during hot days when you're allowed to drink cider
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cod head
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:32 pm 
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ThunderinScitters wrote:
cod head wrote:
Do any fellow Guinness drinkers have black poos? I hope it's just the Guinness..

Here in Ireland that's the physical manifestation of turning from boy to man..
It only turns back to a brownish colour during hot days when you're allowed to drink cider


Horrible drink :(
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Bastard
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:47 pm 
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gayer

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Bert Trautmanns neck brace
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 7:59 am 
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Ionly ever drink Guinness in Dublin.

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AmBeRt0nTe
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 10:00 am 
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ThunderinScitters wrote:
cod head wrote:
Do any fellow Guinness drinkers have black poos? I hope it's just the Guinness..

Here in Ireland that's the physical manifestation of turning from boy to man..
It only turns back to a brownish colour during hot days when you're allowed to drink cider

I remember when is was about 14 my English teacher was late for class and he announced to the class the reason for this was he had a feed of Guinness the previous night and he was squeezing out a big black shit. Guinness poops are the business!

Nicest pint of stout is in the James gate brewery in the sky tower bar or whatever it's called at the end of the tour of the brewery. Great 360 degree view of the city too.
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Paddington Blue
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 10:42 am 
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Dark Blue wrote:
Barna Azul wrote:
Dark Blue wrote:
*cough*

So I've got this itchy ass. And I really need to clarify this so as not to come across as Jimmy No-Brains.

1) I'm not talking about haemorrhoids I've been there and done that in my time to not waste this forum's time with such a thing.
2) I'm not talking about a dirty ass here, this can be immediately after a bath or thorough shower.

I'm not even talking about the hole itself, more like my cheeks... Clean bum, no piles, itchy fucking cheeks.

What the fuck is this?

I can't go to the doctor with itchy cheeks. I'm thinking of whacking on a load of immac and seeing if this is a hair thing.

I'm at a total loss here.


If in the crack of your arse, sounds like ingrowing hair. Its probably too late for immac mind.

Do you or have you had any spots, pusses or bumps under the skin?

Its very common in men, especially if you have a fair amount of hair there.

I would get your GP to check it out, if you have any of the above. Probably will make an appointment to cut it out for you.


Been there and done that, got the t-shirt, spent two days in hospital and had a district nurse pack a wound, the size of sherbet saucer, in cleft of my buttock every day for a month... But that was 15 years ago and this ain't that.

Cheers though.

The medical pics here are safe for work but some of the most horrifying images on the internet.

happy days. :cool:



The first thing that came into my mind was 'is this cockney for Chaucer?'
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gibbonicus_andronicus
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:53 am 
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Dark Blue wrote:
An hour!? Dude you're going to do some serious long term damage to your colon going at it like that.

experience?

_________________
"It felt like a really pointless version of ketamine: no psychedelic effects, no pleasant slide into rubbery nonsense, just a sudden drop off the cliff of wrongness."
"i'm gonna wreck you so bad we're going to have to change church"
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NoddytheAdlingtonBlue
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:55 am 
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I've tried Cooder's tip but it isn't doing the trick. Also, there's no way I'm using the term "gooch". Still, glad to know it's nothing serious. Either that or everyone on here also has prostate cancer
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cooder
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:58 am 
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NoddytheAdlingtonBlue wrote:
I've tried Cooder's tip but it isn't doing the trick. Also, there's no way I'm using the term "gooch". Still, glad to know it's nothing serious. Either that or everyone on here also has prostate cancer


You have to push a bit too.

We used to call it the twitter (gap between twat and shitter) but then that social networking site got popular and people get confused when you ask them to lick your twitter.

Or T'aint. T'aint your dick. T'aint your arse.
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