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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 12:48 am 
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It's not normal for a man to go to the doctor, certainly not between the age we've finished developing and the age we need our prostates looking over. It's just not dignified.

I thought we could have a thread where we could get the hive mind together to learn from our common experiences...

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 12:54 am 
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*cough*

So I've got this itchy ass. And I really need to clarify this so as not to come across as Jimmy No-Brains.

1) I'm not talking about haemorrhoids I've been there and done that in my time to not waste this forum's time with such a thing.
2) I'm not talking about a dirty ass here, this can be immediately after a bath or thorough shower.

I'm not even talking about the hole itself, more like my cheeks... Clean bum, no piles, itchy fucking cheeks.

What the fuck is this?

I can't go to the doctor with itchy cheeks. I'm thinking of whacking on a load of immac and seeing if this is a hair thing.

I'm at a total loss here.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 1:07 am 
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What kind of underpants do you wear?


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 1:12 am 
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Usually a Marks and Spencer boxer brief. 100% cotton.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 1:16 am 
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That's hawt.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 1:19 am 
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PM me because we're going off topic here.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 2:56 am 
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Boxers? It's not the 1990's mate!

Anyway, I have developed itchy bum cheeks lately too (serious), but I know exactly what it is. I am also very clean and I change underwear daily, at least. The reason I have itchy cheeks is cos I am not working a the moment and I am in a hot climate I am regularly sitting in shorts post-exercise or post-swim, and it kinda gets just slightly raised and it's a pleasure to scratch but totes obvs not ideal long term, there's a word for it, what's the word for it...

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 4:26 am 
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Danny's Studs wrote:

totes obvs

You've changed man


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 8:13 am 
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does this condition occur at night in bed or is it contiuous throughout the day?

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 9:42 am 
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Dark Blue wrote:
Usually a Marks and Spencer boxer brief. 100% cotton.

Must be fucking made of money

I imagine immac (sp?) may work short term but would only compound the problem when the hairs begin to grow back. I think we may need a photo for comparison purposes


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 9:44 am 
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Danny's Studs wrote:
Boxers? It's not the 1990's mate!


Hey, get bent Studs! Cotton boxers are the perfect day-time accompaniment to a gentleman's undercarriage.

Image

"Oh Monsieur Studs, do you remember the 1990s when your balls could breathe and your arse didn't itch?"


Dark Blue - could your condition be connected to a parasite?

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 10:01 am 
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Bastard wrote:
Danny's Studs wrote:
Boxers? It's not the 1990's mate!


Hey, get bent Studs! Cotton boxers are the perfect day-time accompaniment to a gentleman's undercarriage.

Image

"Oh Monsieur Studs, do you remember the 1990s when your balls could breathe and your arse didn't itch?"


Dark Blue - could your condition be connected to a parasite?

What's the underwear of choice for the 2010's then Studs? I bet you wear briefs, don't you? They're practically knickers you tranny.

For the record Bastard, they're boxers, not boxer briefs. FFS :rolleyes:


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 10:04 am 
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I made some assumptions about your age and symptoms Dark, but this is what I came up with:

Image

I think nappy rash is probably the best bet


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 10:09 am 
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Underpants for me..proper Y fronts, multi purpose too, double up as trunks when i go swimming..
(i do have a pair of black and red animal brand skids..i wear them on important match days as i had them on when we won the cup) :D

Itcy arse DB, do you use any ointments or what type of bubblebath do you use, i sometimes have radox or sanex, but ifs aldi's own brand, it could cause a unknown irritation..

i also get a itch arse when driving through old trafford.. :whistle:

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 11:43 am 
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Thanks everyone.
Kimbo - I never think to buy radox (as much as I love the salts) so ultimately I steal my daughters J&J baby bubble bath which must be gentle as you like. I'll look to see if a new shower gel has been used...

Nods - I do have some slight history of eczema, so dermatitis could be an issue.

Bastard/Nods - Surely lice/parasites wouldn't just live on my bum, they'd fan out to neighbouring areas, certainly they would exercise free license of the pubis area non?

I'm going to change up my pants and keep an eye on whether different soaps have any effect...

This is definitely a leap forward.

This is a boxer brief
Image

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 1:24 pm 
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could be worms if itching only occurs at night. or could be some kind of rash/fungal/bacterial infection if generally itchy. you'll need a cream for it, so go to your docs. if you've not changed anything (soap, detergent) between non-itch and itch you can prolly eliminate those as causes.

if you're lucky he'll even stick his finger up your arse to make sure it's not related to getting fatal arsehole cancer.

the lube will be cold.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 1:42 pm 
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it's blates a new washing detergent.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 1:52 pm 
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Sometimes after having a wee, I tuck my willy away and do a little bit more wee. I also get up for a wee in the night. Do I have prostate cancer or am I drinking too much? Or both?


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 1:55 pm 
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having had similar recently it could be that, or a fungal infection.

the doctor said it looked like nappy rash/faecal burns, which is very unlikely because i am freakishly committed to have a clean ring, as our loo roll stocks would corroborate.

#sharing

and i believe you mean jockey shorts db.

nods - prostate/age/diabetes/high fluid intake. putting it away and then having a bit of seepage is more commonly linked to prostate/pelvic floor i think.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 2:01 pm 
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gibbonicus_andronicus wrote:
/faecal burns

LOL!


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